Never let me down again.
The tendency to over complicate is an aspect of my character. Be it my perspective on a relationship or sticky rice- I’ll blow ’em both out of proportion. Often over-eager to place myself in someone else’s shoes, I reach conclusions that are not quite my own. Still, I must be entitled to something of an opinion- no matter how unusual my thought processes and respective practices.
Alright. Forget the cryptic nonsense. Coming at you straight-up.
I feel like a completely different person everyday. I notice how all substances affect my body. Sugary cereal makes me giddy. But add too much milk, and I’ve got gas. Two cups of coffee put a skip in my step. Make it three, and I’m feeling underwater. A cigarette after lunch, I’m relaxed. But smoke the cancer stick beforehand, and my head is spinning.
Naturally, all these variations affect my mood; far beyond food, you all affect my mood too. I once read a monologue that included the line: “I am very sensitive to the vibrations of people around me.” This attitude leaked into my daily experience. I notice glances and glares. Wrinkled foreheads signify frustration while a raised eyebrow might mean something entirely different. I worry about what I express in sound and in silence. I worry that I worry too much.
I worry about the consequences of misunderstanding. I worry that I am a narcissist. I worry I am too demanding. I worry about the contents of this very list. I worry I’ll live past my prime. I worry I’ll die alone. I worry I’ll turn to crime. I worry about my tone. I worry that angst rules my words and coffee has stunted my growth. I worry about you and I both.