run while you can

A cheese loathing trashman.

The grit and grim. Madison, WI. Spring 2010.

Ben-

I’ve heard through the grapevine that you’ve started working a second part-time job. Is this true? If so, you’re obviously not taking your passions seriously. The food industry? Yes, first-person sources tell me. A server? Please, at least try your hand at cooking. Then again, your taste buds aren’t exactly on par with the majority. What is with your vendetta against cheese? This hatred seems like an out-of-control phobia dating back to a near death experience in your childhood. I know you well enough to remember the cheese-stick choking incident. A reasonable lesson to learn would have been to eat more slowly, not indefinitely loathe such a delicious dairy product.

I digress. You are twenty-two years old. That better blow your mind; it does mine. You are graduating in one month. I feel that you’re determined to drift for years on end rather than chose a career.  For this, I deem you no better than transient trash. So help me, if your personal hygiene goes by the wayside, I will have to forever disown you. And what good is your flimsy ego without an id, huh?

But seriously, pull yourself together. You’ve accomplished only a portion of what you’re capable of achieving. Be the garbageman that you dreamed of being as a child. Hell knows the American rubbish industry could use some tidying. As of now, all you do is add to the mess.

Sincerely,

Your better half but certainly no shoulder to cry on-

Julius Keen

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